Lawak!!!!!!!!

PUKUL BERAPA BUKA?

Pada suatu tengah malam telepon di rumah seorang
pustakawan berdering.
Pukul berapa perpustakaan akan di buka?" seorang
pemuda di hujung talian bertanya.
"Jam 9 pagi encik, apa hal yang penting sangat encik
menelifon saya tengah malam buta nie?" tanya
pustakawan tadi.
"Tak boleh buka awal lagi ke?" pemuda itu bertanya
lagi dengan nada kecewa.
"TIDAK, tidak akan dibuka sebelum pukul 9!" si
pustakawan menjawab dengan nada yang tinggi.
"Penting sangat ke sampai encik tidak boleh tunggu
sampai pukul 9 pagi untuk masuk?".
"Siapa kata saya mau masuk?" kata pemuda itu kesal,
"SAYA MAU KELUAR!"

MANGGA

Pada suatu hari ada seorang pembeli yang sedang
tawar-menawar dengan seorang penjual buah mangga.
Pembeli: "Bang, berapa harga mangga sekilo?"
Peniaga: "RM7!"
Pembeli: "Amboi, mahal sangat... RM5 sudah la!"
Peniaga: "Tak boleh dik, harganya dah cukup murah
tu!"
Pembeli: "Kalau tak manis, macam mana bang?"
Peniaga: "Kalau tak manis, tak payah bayar!"
Pembeli: "Kalau macam tu, beri saya yang tak manis
10 kilo!"

PALING BERSIH

Sepasang suami isteri merayakan ulang tahun
perkahwinannya dengan makan malam di sebuah
restoran. Ketika mereka hendak meninggalkan restoran
tersebut, mereka ditanya oleh pemilik restoran yang
berdiri di pintu.

Pemilik: "Bagaimana perasaan Anda terhadap hidangan
dan layanan kami?"
Lelaki: " Ada satu perkara yang boleh saya katakan..
Anda memiliki dapur yang paling bersih di bandar
ini."
Pemilik: "Dapur yang paling bersih?... Anda kan
tidak pergi ke dapur. Bagaimana Anda boleh tahu yang
dapur kamilah yang paling bersih?"
Lelaki: "Sebab.. Semua makanan yang kami makan
berbau sabun."

BARU KAHWIN

Sepasang pengantin baru mengalami gangguan
kesihatan. Setelah diperiksa dengan teliti, doktor
memberitahu perkara itu disebabkan oleh hubungan
seks yang terlalu kerap.

"Untuk sementara waktu ini, anda berdua dinasihatkan
supaya menghadkan kegiatan seks. Sebaiknya dua kali
saja seminggu sahaja. Untuk memudahkan mengingat,
saya sarankan untuk melakukan hubungan ini hanya
pada hari yang bermula dengan huruf S, iaitu Selasa
dan Sabtu," saran doktor.

Maklum sajalah baru berkahwin. Pada malam ketiga
berpuasa dari membuat hubungan itu, si suami tidak
yang sedang tidur sehingga isterinya terjaga.

"Hari ini hari apa bang?" tanya si isteri.
"Sumaat"
"Sedang eloklah tu bang..." jawab isterinya..

SIAPA BANGANG

Seorang lelaki telefon hospital untuk memberitahu
yang isterinya nak bersalin. Dan jururawat hospital
menjawab telefon lelaki tersebut.
Lelaki: "Hello... tolong saya sebab isteri saya nak
bersalin!"
Jururawat: "Sila bertenang... ini anaknya yang
pertama ke?"
Lelaki: "Apa la punya bangang... ni laki dia la!"

RAHSIA MENANGKAP IKAN

Adaseorang nelayan yang selalu dapat banyak ikan
bila dia ke laut...so crew TV99 interview dia untuk
rahsia dia tangkap ikan.
Crew TV99 : "Apa rahsia pakcik tangkap ikan?"
Nelayan : "Oh, pakcik guna firasat. Pakcik tenguk
cara isteri pakcik tidur bila pakcik bangun pagi.
Kalau dia mengereng ke kiri, pakcik tebar jala kiri.
Kalau dia mengereng ke kanan pakcik tebar ke kanan."

CrewTV99 : "Kalau isteri pakcik tidur terlentang?"
Nelayan : "Itu tandanya rezeki depan mata, pakcik
tak turun ke laut pagi tu..."
CrewTV99 : "O, ye ke..."

MALUNYA
Seorang wanita muda telah terberanak di dalam sebuah
lif. Dier pun malu macam nak giler dan tak mahu kuar
dari lif itu. Pihak pengurusan bangunan pun
memanggil polis, bomba dan pakar ilmu jiwa untuk
pujuk dier keluar.
Pakar ilmu jiwa tu pun cakap ler, "Cik... keluar
lah... aper nak dimalukan... perkara biase jer nih."

Wanita muda yang terberanak itu pun menjawab, "Tak
mau, tak mau, saya malu."
pakar ilmu jiwa itu menambah, "Alah cik... tahun
lepas saya ader 1 kes lagi teruk... pompuan tu
beranak dalam longkang!!"
Mendengarkan kata-kata pakar ilmu jiwa tu jer,
wanita muda tu terus meraung bagai nak giler lalu
berkata, "Yang tu pun saya gak, uhwaaa..!!!"
Pakar ilmu jiwa itu tak tahu nak cakap aper.

Gossip II - Busted!!!

Where he at? Let me kick his ass...

Yosh Mina!!

I told ya...I freakin told ya I'll get a proof of this shameless anti-blogger prick..Ha Ha Ha... However, this proof is much better, too much better.. I have single handedly caught this two-faced, no-gooder anti blogger going trough blogs. Did I say going trough blogs..??? Yes I did, I did tee a putty tat!! Putty tat my nuts...Its a freakin anti bloggers....blogging, damn it!!! Hah! You're busted, BIG TIME dummy!!!

Hah!! You're busted Mr. "I'm so anti-blogger"

Wafie outta...

Gossip

Yosh Mina!!

It has been a really not so long time since last time I post any useless, good for nothing and uncivilized reading material. I was kinda not so busy and was caught up in something not important..NOT!!! Well, lets not waste anymore boring time of yours and get straight to the kinky point..Ha Ha Ha...

Gossip is what I'm going to blabber you guys this time. So Mina-san ( that's everyone in Nippon ), there is a vastly spreading rumor that I have just made up..or is it? Jeng..Jeng..Jeng..!!! Rumor about Shah and Yuyeen blur are kinda a 'thing' now. Hah!! An office romance it is. Is it true, is not? Ah...lu pikir la sendiri...

Next, is about a quite shocking story where there is a rumor saying that we have an ANTI-BLOGGER among us...WHAT??!! Who? Where? and $5#**&%@..??!! ( censored ). Don't worry, we have a very unreliable and untrustworthy source confirming this ingratitude human being does exist. And what is this..we do a have picture??? Lets check it out..

No pictures!!


No paparazzi!!

Don't you guys worry, we will surely get a better picture of this blogger's arch nemesis. And we shall put a brutal end to this..Kill em' all!!!!!!!

Wafie out..

I will defeat all the anti bloggers...

JUNO

Yosh Mina!

Guess what I stumbled upon in my friend's hard disk..game? no.. porns? hell no..i guess.. Its a freaking movie..Its called JUNO, its light-real-life-comedy movie. It stars Ellen Page as Juno from X-Men and Michael Cera as Paulie Bleeker from Super Bad. Its a fun movie were Juno found out the she has gone preggy with her best friend Bleeker. Juno is a typical hardrock + indie + grunge girl who has a 'thing' for her best friend Bleeker, who is the other hand an obnoxiously-extreme Tic Tac addict cum school runner, thus the orange colored theme for the movie. Bleeker also secretly have a 'thing' for Juno...what a shock?! NOT!! HaHaHa.. I really didn't know if the movie was released in Malaysia or not.

Check-out how the story spins and twirls, when Juno ( my girlfriend to-be :p )try to deal with her pregnancy..

P/S: Who ever wants the movie just contact Asan Taring

Tribute To All

Yeah! See him getting his jiggy on..

Yosh Mina!
Thanks for all the annoying, negative, nonsupporting, useless, waste-of-time comments that you guys have willingly and happily to drop by...HaHaHa.. Frankly speaking, I do appreciate the effort you guys have put together to read through my inspirational, astounding, one-of-a-kind blog. I promise you this will be one of many that soon will come after..This is my promise to you all.. My decree, my vouch...(that sounds kinda gay ain't it? but I'm not)

So keep those comments coming..and always check out my blog.

Wafie out...

A man's got to do what a man's got to do

Yosh, mina! It means, "Hi, everyone!" in Japanese. Finally, I manage to start my own damn freaking blog. After seeing my office mates, Asanrivas a.k.a Asan Taring a.k.a Geli Mat (http://asanrivas.blogspot.com/) mate starting his own annoying blog and then follow up by Hanizan a.k.a Zan (http://darifon.blogspot.com) showing off his camera hand phone as well as his cute little daughter and lastly Daous a.k.a Penghulu Kampung Buntut (http://firdaousyousof.blogspot.com/) that have too much free time on his hand, more or less it provokes me to do something. Little by little, these voices inside my head screaming louder and louder, " Damn dude, you can't let these guys be cooler than you. You gots to something dawg!!".

So you see, I can't lose my coolness to these guys, so I have decided to put up a fight. A man's got to do what a man's, right? So this is my blog. I 'll be posting my boring and useless life as well as things that happens around me.

So..to start off with a BANG!!, last weekend me and my friends had this little reunion thingy at SunWay Piramid. I thought there will be many people, but then only four person came including me. Four freaking people!! But whatever, we still had fun.. We went to J.Co Donut & Coffee. We ate like a dozen of delious and mouth watering donuts. I also bought a blended Green Tea, it was not very good but it was ok..I guess..By the way it cost me a good-for-nothing RM10.00. So we chat and chow down the donuts, praying one of us will throw up..HaHaHa..

To highlight the day I bought myselfthis cute little fake dummy bearbrick..hehehe..

Wafie's Embassy

This is my embassy..where I begin..where I reside..where I express myself..